|In response to mild public demanding and misunderstanding over the
cut-and-paste listings nonsense that is TV Misguidance,
a separate, spray-painted forum for straightforward televisual satire and humour has been
Other Listings Magazine.
"This military action is a part of our campaign against
diplomacy, intelligence, freedom, clock, tyre,
the freezing of food and a lot of dance. Good afternoon."
Bushwhacked, a masterful
Morris/Iannucci-style resplicing of the words of the leader of the
free world. I wonder if his genuine speeches are made in the same
way. With twenty-one facial animation parameters.
[via Digital Trickery]
"WAR IS PEACE. A reckless war that will likely bring about a deadly
cycle of retaliation is being sold to us as the means to guarantee our
safety. Meanwhile, we've been instructed to accept the permanent war as
a fact of daily life. As the inevitable slaughter of innocents unfolds
overseas, we are to 'live our lives and hug our children'."
finally becomes Oceania, says an article highlighting
the present situation's parallels with Orwell's 1984. That we've shifted so seamlessly from
an initial "war on terrorism" (that's "war" in the sense of "war on drugs",
kids) to an effectively proper war against a country (we've
been using the word "war" for weeks, remember?) is thoroughly
vile. [via Ole]
|It's a sterling breakthrough for video-conferencing, but it's also horribly,
unshakeably sinister; head-and-shoulder clips being
mapped down to twenty-one "facial animation parameters", then
3D models. Models of the original speaker, or - as the site
demonstrates with Bill Clinton, a newsreader and some woman - of other
good reason to update your weblog at least a few times every month.
"17.35 - The Magic Neighbours Mandy's sense of alienation worsens when
dealing with her hallucinations of Larry
Tufnell and Olympic boxing super-heavyweight champion
Cracking stuff in the pages of TV Misguidance, your
easy-to-read ransom-note listings magazine. New and improved to be
a bit more explanatory and welcoming, too. Dig out your Guardian Guide and
"Sunbeam shine, frumpy girl eating trifle
A random Belle and Sebastian
song generator. Superb.
Emile Zola wrote your personal bible
Le parslie de le bourgoisie
You'll be working class
In 19th century France."
|The Brick Testament,
proving conclusively that you can't
crucify Lego people without breaking their arms first.
[via Peace Dividend]
||Scour Force. That's what we need. Two or three overexaggerated
BBC presenters bursting into a viewer's kitchen and cleaning the place
spotless. Minimal budget, and nothing for the victim to burst into
tears about, particularly. Far more useful than Diarmuid Gavin
installing a DVD projector next to some sheet metal and pretending
that it's a garden.
|Stirred to a four-letter rage by that Dummy's Guide, I attacked the
shared-kitchen sink of my flat last night. Reverse biological warfare.
Scrubbing away months of mottled-white hard-water patterning, cleaning
and filing the glasses that nobody drinks from, the garlic press that
can't remember its purpose. Descending upon the never-emptied drainage
rack and throwing away handfuls and handfuls of rusted, black-bubonic
cutlery from the 20th century. Insane.|
And my housemates aren't even mad inconsiderate bastards, it just seems
to have become the norm to skim a knife and fork off of the top of the
plate rack, to wash it and return it. Nobody seems that bothered by the
black fungus growing silently but visibly beneath. Micro-communities
within micro-communities. Smashed to the four winds by the wrath of the
washing-up pixie. At least for another few months.
|Three cheers for the box of
at London's Science
Museum, which you're allowed to muck about with, using magnets
provided. Rippling hedgehogs of oily magnetite, falling and reforming as
you drag the fields around. Hypnotic.|
Other cheers for oddly anachronistic exhibits being run on
ancient BBC Micros ("Today's date : FF:1:0FF"), talking earnestly
about this new-fangled genetic modification thing. And huge swathes of the computing section becoming unintentionally
historical as they've gathered dust in their brown-wallpapered cabinets
over the past twenty years. Very surreal.
the Fucking Kitchen for Dummies" - I am the washing-up
pixie. [via LMG]
||If you're with Virgin Mobile, know that they've been
your phone's location (and, by lazy inference, its owner's location) for
the past couple of years. Vodafone admit to keeping the data for a while
to assist the police, while BT Cellnet and Orange aren't commenting.
Tracking devices with snazzy clip-on covers and catchy ringtones. Genius.