THE FROY MARRIAGE TEST

Taken from How to Avoid Matrimony by Keith Waterhouse (writing as "Herald Froy", 1957)

Froy Ratings For Marriage Risk
have been calculated on the aggregate hypothetical value of a girl, arrived at by co-relating her imponderable-asset averages with the concomitant drawback averages, taking into consideration the marriage risk co-efficient.
In other words, here's a handy slide-rule for sliding bachelors to keep at hand.

Characteristics of Girl	Answer
Able to boil egg	Yes	No
Able to make omelette	Yes	No
Able to make shepherd's pie	Yes	No
Possesses clock	Yes	No
Knits	Yes	No
Helps mum with vacuum cleaner	Yes	No
Says that mum ought to have maid	Yes	No
Gossips with women in shops	Yes	No
Gossips with men in shops	Yes	No
Knows exact price of more than five items in grocer's	Yes	No
Shoplifts	Yes	No
Pats dogs	Yes	No
Eats dogs (hot)	Yes	No
Goes to fashion shows	Yes	No
Has a weekly manicure	Yes	No
Stays in on Friday nights to wash hair	Yes	No
Reads women's magazines	Yes	No
Reads men's magazines	Yes	No
Illiterate	Yes	No
Writes 'DUST' in dust	Yes	No
Writes other words in dust	Yes	No
Knows how to mend fuse	Yes	No
Possesses flat iron	Yes	No
Possesses travelling iron	Yes	No
Possesses thermostatic iron	Yes	No
Has a thing about irons	Yes	No
Bets on horses	Yes	No
Bets on dogs	Yes	No
Can play poker dice	Yes	No
Wins	Yes	No
Possesses pack of cards	Yes	No
Possesses crystal ball	Yes	No
Hunts	Yes	No
Possesses hammer	Yes	No
Knows words of 'Eskimo Nell'	Yes	No
Takes after Eskimo Nell	Yes	No
Is in fact Repulse Bay Eskimo	Yes	No
Says there is good and bad in everyone	Yes	No
Has framed motto: 'Home Is A Good Thing'	Yes	No
Has toy tiger on bed	Yes	No
Collects on flag days	Yes	No
Collects on pay days	Yes	No
Possesses sun ray lamp	Yes	No
Eats oranges in bed	Yes	No
When in doubt makes tea	Yes	No
Possesses cocoa	Yes	No
Is hot on sherry trifle	Yes	No
Knows about oven temperatures	Yes	No
Spends money	Yes	No
On being told smutty jokes (a) slaps	Yes	No
On being told smutty jokes (b) claps	Yes	No
Possesses own car	Yes	No
Will go anywhere	Yes	No
Do anything	Yes	No
Age of girl
Months you have known her
Bonus Question: Are you operating in a strange town which you will be leaving on Monday?	Yes	No

Adapted by Kevan, for Chrissy (Froy Rating : -988)