THE FROY MARRIAGE TEST

Taken from How To Avoid Matrimony by Herald Froy (1957)

(Belated Revelation: 'Herald Froy' was a pseudonym of Keith Waterhouse)

Froy Ratings For Marriage Risk
    have been calculated on the aggregate hypothetical value of a girl, arrived at by co-relating her imponderable-asset averages with the concomitant drawback averages, taking into consideration the marriage risk co-efficient.
    In other words, here's a handy slide-rule for sliding bachelors to keep at hand.

Characteristics of GirlAnswer
Able to boil egg Yes No
Able to make omelette Yes No
Able to make shepherd's pie Yes No
Possesses clock Yes No
Knits Yes No
Helps mum with vacuum cleaner Yes No
Says that mum ought to have maid Yes No
Gossips with women in shops Yes No
Gossips with men in shops Yes No
Knows exact price of more than five items in grocer's Yes No
Shoplifts Yes No
Pats dogs Yes No
Eats dogs (hot) Yes No
Goes to fashion shows Yes No
Has a weekly manicure Yes No
Stays in on Friday nights to wash hair Yes No
Reads women's magazines Yes No
Reads men's magazines Yes No
Illiterate Yes No
Writes 'DUST' in dust Yes No
Writes other words in dust Yes No
Knows how to mend fuse Yes No
Possesses flat iron Yes No
Possesses travelling iron Yes No
Possesses thermostatic iron Yes No
Has a thing about irons Yes No
Bets on horses Yes No
Bets on dogs Yes No
Can play poker dice Yes No
Wins Yes No
Possesses pack of cards Yes No
Possesses crystal ball Yes No
Hunts Yes No
Possesses hammer Yes No
Knows words of 'Eskimo Nell' Yes No
Takes after Eskimo Nell Yes No
Is in fact Repulse Bay Eskimo Yes No
Says there is good and bad in everyone Yes No
Has framed motto: 'Home Is A Good Thing' Yes No
Has toy tiger on bed Yes No
Collects on flag days Yes No
Collects on pay days Yes No
Possesses sun ray lamp Yes No
Eats oranges in bed Yes No
When in doubt makes tea Yes No
Possesses cocoa Yes No
Is hot on sherry trifle Yes No
Knows about oven temperatures Yes No
Spends money Yes No
On being told smutty jokes   (a) slaps Yes No
On being told smutty jokes   (b) claps Yes No
Possesses own car Yes No
Will go anywhere Yes No
Do anything Yes No
Age of girl
Months you have known her
Bonus Question: Are you operating in a strange town which you will be leaving on Monday? Yes No

Adapted by Kevan, for Chrissy (Froy Rating : -988)