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The memoirs of Sir Harry Paget Flashman V.C., K.C.B., K.C.I.E., etc., the Victorian hero, philanderer, cad and poltroon. There follows a hitherto unpublished extract from the Flashman Papers.

I've never been much of a lad for "the art of the noble crescent". But, I've turned my hand to many things in my time - military supervisor, hotelier, wagon captain, slave trader, spy, majordomo and diamond broker amoungst 'em. I was in Whites recently sloshing down a brandy and soda and listening with half an ear to Sydney Hall boasting about how he won open masters tournament the other week. The arrogant young pup was propping up the bar telling all and sundry how his strilin' and straddlin' had damn well out striled and straddled his opponent. So I says "I'll show you how the game is really played, young gallows." So of course he couldn't wait to best the famous Sir Harry Flashman and was all eagerness to play. Now what neither he or you know is that whilst I was China with Sir James Hope Grant I picked up a trick or two:

Flashy
(In an offhand manner) Snaresbrook.
Hall
(Sneering) Hainault.
Flashy
Hackney Wick.
Hall
Tower Hill.
Flashy
Finsbury Park.
Hall
Earl's Court.
Flashy
West Hampstead.
Hall
(Thinking he can see Flashy's game) Green Park.
Flashy
Dollis Hill.
Hall
Dollis Hill.
Flashy
Dollis Hill.
Hall
Dollis Hill.
Flashy
Dollis Hill.
Hall
Dollis Hill.
Flashy
Dollis Hill.
Hall
(Beginning to panic) Dollis Hill.
Flashy
Dollis Hill.
Hall
See here Flashy, you'll crash the game.
Flashy
Want to concede, eh?
Hall
Damn your eyes! Ongar.
Flashy
Charing Cross.
Hall
Fairlop.
Flashy
Mornington Crescent!

At which Hall got up in disgust and stormed out.

Thus ends this packet of the Flashman papers - in its usual abrupt manner.


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Last edited March 28, 2007 9:54 pm by Simons Mith (diff)
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