[Home]Trellis, Mrs.

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Mrs. Trellis is a dear, frail, somewhat doddery old woman from North Wales who writes incessantly to Sir Humphrey Lyttleton on the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue program. It would surprise anyone who does not know the history of the game to realise that she has also been perhaps the greatest MC player in history - the only other players of whom this could be said are Cripplehead and Hugo: she never met Hugo in competition, and Cripplehead only once, in an exhibition match - which she lost by a very narrow margin. Given Cripplehead's dislike of tournament play, it is possible to speculate that the result might have been different had they met in a championship match.

Since her victory in the first post-WWII championship, she has won the World Championship a record 17 times (most recently in 1984), on twelve occasions winning a complete Grand Slam of the Singles, Pairs, Team and All-In titles. She has also won countless other international and national championships: all this despite the fact that, every so often, she would take a year or two away from competition play, to take up a role in administration of the game. Until recently, she has made comebacks to competitive play every time: but her most recent retirement seems to be permanent. She is now highly active in the IMCS, and is believed to have largely co-written the legendary Chalk Farm '84 rules - the only known ruleset (until Holland Park 2000) to have been accepted by both CAMREC and the IMCS. Chalk Farm '84 was published shortly after her last championship win.

She remains a great proponent of Mornington Crescent, and is said by most to be one of the forces behind modern play. She contributes to countless funds, schemes and rule revision committees to further the Mornington Crescent cause. Also the inventor of countless manoeuvres and gambits, including the Trellis Power Shunt, the Trellis Quadrating Strile and the Trellis Neasden Pincer, she is still a formidable player in her own right, despite a blind spot in recent years regarding the cross-hatching of Theydon Bois.

The fact that she still officially holds the current ranking of #1 in the Grandmaster tables - despite her age and actual retirement from playing in ranking tournaments - is, to a certain extent, indicative of the awe in which most players hold her, at least on the field. Nobody else is likely to be accorded the honorific of the #1 ranking until (a) they stand out far above the rest, and (b) Mrs Trellis is long dead, or beaten in a one-on-one match … until then, #2 seems to be the limit that any modern Grandmaster can aim for.

Mrs Trellis has also made a profound contribution to the theory of Mornington Crescent, having even collaborated with Grossman on quantum token dynamics amongst other work. Truly, she is a titan of the Game.

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Last edited March 30, 2007 1:00 am by Simons Mith (diff)