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The memoirs of Sir Harry Paget Flashman V.C., K.C.B., K.C.I.E., etc., the Victorian hero, flanderer, cad and poltroon. There follows a hitherto unpublished extract from the Flashman Papers.

I've never been much of a lad for "the art of the noble crescent". But, I've turned my hand to many things in my time - military supervisor, hotelier, wagon captain, slave trader, spy, majordomo and diamond broker amoungst 'em. I was in Whites recently sloshing down a brandy and soda and listening with half an ear to Sydney Hall boasting about how he won open masters tournament the other week. The arrogant young pup was propping up the bar telling all and sundry how his srtilin' and stadlin' had damn well out striled and stradled his opponent. So I says "I'll show you how the game is really played young gallows." So of course he couldn't wait to best the famous Sir Harry Flashman and was all eagerness to play. Now what neither he or you know is that whilst I was China with Sir James Hope Grant I picked up a trick or two.
Flashy: [In an offhand manner] Snaresbrook.
Hall: [Sneering] Hainault.
Flashy: Hackney Wick.
Hall: Tower Hill.
Flashy: Finsbury Park.
Hall: Earl's Court.
Flashy: West Hampstead.
Hall: [Thinking he can see Flashy's game] Green Park.
Flashy: Dollis Hill.
Hall: Dollis Hill.
Flashy: Dollis Hill.
Hall: Dollis Hill.
Flashy: Dollis Hill.
Hall: Dollis Hill.
Flashy: Dollis Hill.
Hall: [Beginning to panic] Dollis Hill.
Flashy: Dollis Hill.
Hall: See hear Flashy you'll crash the game.
Flashy: Want to concede eh?
Hall: Damn your eyes! Ongar.
Flashy: Charing Cross.
Hall: Fairlop.
Flashy: Morington Crescent!
At which Hall got up in disgust and stormed out.

Thus ends this packet of the Flashman papers - in its usual abrupt manner.

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Edited November 28, 2005 2:15 pm by Brown (diff)